What Time Is It?

We’ve all heard the adage, timing is everything. There’s no question, timing influences many twists and turns in our lives. We consult our inner selves asking is it the right time to move, is it the right time to switch jobs, is it the right time to have children, the list is endless. There have been many times in my life when I contemplated timing, and I certainly didn’t always get it right. Should I have stayed in my city apartment longer, should I have left my marriage sooner, was it the right time to enter into a serious relationship? We never really know in the moment, we can just trust our gut, make educated decisions, and move forward even if we have some doubt, fear, or hesitation.

I watched my daughter bravely embark on a mission to transfer colleges in the middle of her sophomore year and a pandemic. My heart crept into my throat at the thought of her switching as a junior to a school far from home, knowing no one. There was no safety net there. But she forged ahead, fire in her belly and the success on the other side was huge and magnificent. It changed her life in the most positive way. It may not have felt like the ideal timing for a change, but her desire overrode any reservations. She could have played it safe, stayed in the zone of comfort, but she took a risk because the upside was more important than perfect timing. There is a large unknown when making these choices, but our passion for a happy outcome pushes us or holds us back.

I guess the question that spins in my head is if in fact timing really is a thing, and should it be a thing? Is it just an excuse to avoid taking that leap to another college, accepting the more challenging job offer, or because we don’t truly want it? Is it really about the timing or do we use timing as an excuse when we are fearful, not convinced, or looking for an easier route?  I’ve been on both sides of this coin. I have certainly slipped into ‘the timing is just off’ as a rationalization of my lagging edits on my novel, or why I didn’t feel like going on that second date. Other times I’ve thought the timing isn’t ideal, but I push through the challenge and discomfort to get what I want, like travelling to Kenya while Covid-19 was still lingering or leaving my marriage when my children were young and impressionable. Timing was not ideal, but the upside of these examples gave me the courage and bandwidth to plow through the difficulties. The compelling reward on the other side drove me, guided me through situations where it would have been easy, and understandable to proclaim the timing wasn’t right. In those situations, I knew what I wanted, and despite what could be seen as an inopportune time, I forged ahead.

Timing can be everything if you allow it to be. It can be the perfect excuse, it can be an easy deterrent, or it can be the thing that makes you take a stand for what you truly believe is right for you even if there’s discomfort or outside opinions weighing on you. If you give timing too much authority, and cower facing obstacles, or hard work, it can dictate choices that impact our happiness and accomplishments. Believing the outcome will be worth the effort has always been my guide. When I recall my daughter, transferring colleges in her junior year, or my own grit in writing a book, I understand the warrior one needs to be to thumb your nose at timing, and not lean on it as an excuse. It’s convenient and easy using timing as a hideaway from an opportunity to take control of our destiny. Facing the hard work and making tough choices in order to pave a path to what you truly desire only makes sense if we believe that the reward on the other side is  worth it.