Darkness Brings the Light
It’s called Thanksgiving for a reason. Obviously, Thanksgiving is a time for thankfulness, but what we don’t often discuss is that sometimes it’s difficult finding gratitude. We live in a world consumed with social media posts filled with messages teaching us, telling us, urging us to show gratitude. They implore we start a gratitude journal, focus on the blessings in our lives, but there are times when the heart swelling moments of appreciation for things in our life are buried in a deep, dark hole. No one likes talking about it, because it’s not as uplifting, or politically correct, but most of us have been there in one form or another.
For many years I believed happiness should be a constant in my life, and I was failing when I emotions other than happiness emerged. I observed others, scrolled through social media, and wondered how everyone was so happy and grateful every single day. Every. Single. Day. What was I doing wrong? When faced with bouts sadness or feeling like an underachiever, I worked harder, striving for consistent gratitude.
As I rose at 5:30AM Thanksgiving Day, prepping for our meal, the thankfulness arrived naturally. Phew. Maybe I am normal, I thought. In the quiet of the dark early morning, my heart lifted from a peace that stirred inside me. Today was a day filled with light, and love. It’s taken me 50 years, but I finally understand happiness is just one part of life and I’ve reconciled not finding gratitude when sadness hovers is ok. A full life encompasses all emotions, and none will ever be a constant. The good news in that is you’ll never be lonely forever, you’ll never be heartbroken forever, you will never be angry forever and you’ll never be grieving forever. The only constant in the emotional parts of our life is that they are always in flux. As the saying goes, ‘life is a roller coaster’, and for this, I believe we should be thankful. How boring would it be if every day we felt the exact same? There would be no nuances learned from challenging experiences. How can we reflect on situations without emotional struggle, or even physical struggle? The struggle leads to greater appreciation and gratitude. As adults, I don’t believe we can possess feelings of deep happiness if we haven’t allowed ourselves to feel deep sadness. I’ve been on that roller coaster, and I’m acutely aware of the highs those lows on that ride. Some may think I feel too much, but I am thankful for the ‘too much.’ Thankful for the shade allowing my appreciation for the sunshine. Interacting with people who can’t access deep feelings, only utilizing a very small portion of their emotional capabilities can be challenging. Allowing strong emotions in our hearts reminds me what a full life looks like. Low moments facilitate the highs. Moments when gratitude comes easily is a result of sitting at the bottom of life’s rollercoaster. That’s why we can truly appreciate the good stuff. And who does want to feel all the awesomeness of the good stuff? So, when your instinct to shove away the uncomfortable emotions kicks in, I suggest leaning into the hard moments, and remembering it will not last forever, and when the joyful moments do show up, your thankfulness will be vast.