Home
I’ve been on hiatus from blogging, but sometimes if I open my eyes and my ears, lessons appear through my daily life, urging me to pay attention. And everyone knows I can’t resist sharing my impactful experiences through my blog. Finding myself fifty and single, I have a unique opportunity. I know myself better than I ever have, thus identifying what I want and need in a partner has never been easier. In my youth, the requirements read more like a resume checklist that I believed would lead to a happy life. Damn was I wrong. Today I understand it’s not the college he attended, or the dates he plans, but it’s how I feel when I am with someone. Can I feel myself and feel joy when I’m with that person? Can that person inspire me to feel more, and deeper than usual? My feelings catch my attention and guide me.
I shared my new philosophy with a friend explaining a scenario of gazing across a crowded room, clicking eyes with my partner, and just knowing. Knowing what he’s feeling, knowing what he’s thinking about me, knowing he’s got my back and him knowing I’ve got his. A knowing that the eye contact conveys a connection between us irrelevant of who is around, and more importantly where we are. After my friend’s text bubbles, an emoji of house appeared on my screen. I didn’t reply as I assumed it was in error, but it was not. He explained that in his mind what I described was a feeling of home no matter where you are. I put the phone down, closed my eyes and paused. Not many can halt my mind, but I welcomed the food for thought. I inhaled a few breaths, realizing he was spot on.
The following day, with a car full of boisterous girls, I zipped to my least favorite place, the dreaded mall. Chatter filled the car, and I quickly selected a playlist from my Spotify. It was a Billy Joel playlist. I rarely listen to Billy Joel but when it popped on my screen, it was a quick and easy choice while navigating the road. As the first keys of the piano were played, I recalled the song, as it is one of my favorite Billy Joel songs. I turned up the volume and screamed to the girls over the instrumental introduction. I urged them to pay attention, listen to the beautiful and sentimental lyrics Mr. Joel had crafted. The title is, You’re My Home. A large tear formed in my eye after the line, “Home can be the Pennsylvania Turnpike, Indiana’s early morning dew, High up in the hills of California, Home is just another word for you,” That’s the feeling both my friend and I were trying to explain but seems the songwriter had us beat. His lyrics were perfection and needed no adjustments or clarifications.
I take notice of these moments, where ideas fold over one another enveloping me from several directions. A conversation, an emoji, a song. I’m paying attention, I’m learning the lessons, and finding my way in any form it comes. I’m sharing the lyrics below, and hope we all find someone to bring us home anywhere, anyplace, anytime.
“When you look into my eyes
And you see the crazy gypsy in my soul
It always comes as a surprise
When I feel my withered roots begin to grow
Well, I never had a place that I could call my very own
But that's all right, my love, 'cause you're my home
When you touch my weary head
And you tell me everything will be all right
You say, "Use my body for your bed"
"And my love will keep you warm throughout the night"
Well, I'll never be a stranger and I'll never be alone
Wherever we're together, that's my home
Home can be the Pennsylvania Turnpike
Indiana's early morning dew
High up in the hills of California
Home is just another word for you
Well, I never had a place that I could call my very own
But that's all right, my love, 'cause you're my home
If I travel all my life
And I never get to stop and settle down
Long as I have you by my side
And there's a roof above and good walls all around
You're my castle, you're my cabin and my instant pleasure dome
I need you in my house 'cause you're my home
You're my home
You're my home