Starting Over
There are some people who go through life perfectly content, never seeking change or growth. There are others that push themselves to grow, change, re-evaluate their purpose, and goals. Sometimes we search for a restart button and sometimes it is thrust upon us. It’s guaranteed we will all experience change in this life whether we choose it or not. We change careers, divorce, relocate far from our roots, or simply evaluate how we’ve lived our life thus far. Marriage, divorce, loss of a loved one, a new job, having children, going back to school, or buying a house all involve change which is difficult for most of us.
Starting over is exhilarating and sucks all at the same time. The voice of fear can be just as loud as the adventurer inside. Many times we find ourselves in situations where a restart is the only choice and we are on a moving train that can’t be stopped. Fear and hesitation can grip us, even paralyze us from taking steps to change, even causing us to stop the forward movement of a restart. The throb in our chest bangs and quivers forcefully, and we can become consumed with the loss of our comfort, of the life we know, and it’s easy to forget the infinite possibilities. The possibilities that the new story that awaits us could supersede our past existences. The possibility that the fear and hesitation may cause you to look back and regret not stepping in to change sooner and with more certainty.
Most of us resist change. It’s normal and in fact science proves that as humans, a protective feature in our behavioral makeup was necessary throughout evolution. We naturally associate change with risk and assume the worst possible outcomes are on the other side of the mountain we are scaling. Our minds can paint a picture in black and white adding to our skepticism, ignoring the infinite shades of grey that life can bring before the darkness of black we envision. We create stories in our head about our weaknesses or inability to find joy in a restart, when in reality we are capable and resilient enough to embrace change and likely stand in the fantastic sunshine on the other side of the struggle.
Some of us are able to view change as an opportunity and take action to initiate a transformation. Changes in our life circumstances allow time for reflection and a taking stock of our life. What do you value most in this life? What is your life's purpose? What goals do you hope to achieve? Who do you choose to spend your time with? While a life shift is never easy, focusing on where the adventure can take you can shed light on the opportunities that come with starting over.
Uncertainty is against a human's natural instinct. It feels safer to be in control and know what lies ahead. Meandering through a dark windy cave, not knowing what's around each turn can be a nerve wracking experience or thrilling and exhilarating. Choosing a path that is uncertain can conjure up the worst case scenario, but what if it’s the best case scenario? What if your current situation is actually your worst case scenario? What if after the growth and struggle, the restart brings an existence that you could never have imagined? What if the most beautiful sunrise is just around the bend in that dark, scary cave? Change is a guarantee in life. We will all experience it in one form or another, but when fear grips you, as you're at the precipice of change, remember life transitions often lead to brilliant new beginnings, providing incredible opportunities, insights and self discovery that you would never have found in the comfort of the status quo.