Psst Psst
“Surround yourself with people who talk about visions and ideas, not other people.” As my eyes scrolled through my instagram feed, this post jumped off the page. Yes, visions and ideas consume me, not someone else’s drama. Maybe it’s because not too long ago my ex husband's actions made the demise of my marriage juicy town gossip, but the fact is, gossip irks me. I have many dreams and goals that fill my head most days, and I can’t wait to discuss them with anyone who cares to listen. Someone else's storyline is not as interesting as my own, but it intrigues me as to why people are so drawn to gossip. Perhaps it makes their own struggles in life seem more normal, or perhaps it’s easier to stomach the misery in their own life if they believe someone else's life is spiraling out of control faster than their own. Those who perpetuate it never really know the facts; they simply thrive on negativity as long as it's not theirs.
There are entire industries based on gossip. Tabloids lined up at the checkout register boast sensational claims normalizing the whispering in small towns across the country. Gossip Girl, a popular television series, featured episode after episode of entitled Manhattan teens creating and living a gossip filled life. While admittedly the series was entertaining, I hate that the media condones capitalizing on the private lives of others. Are we that bored? Are our own lives not enough to entertain us? Do we need someone elses drama to entertain us or worse, quell our insecurities? The Showtime network is about to release a docu-series about the tabloid industry. So now, we’re not only obsessed with the actual gossip, but a behind the scenes look at the industry or gossip. Sheesh.
Today, social media seems to be an addiction. The stakes keep getting higher with the ability to post videos and retouched photos. Tik-Tok, Instagram and Facebook all welcome and encourage self promoted gossip, and many users revel in the attention, positive or negative. While the pandemic was crushing in many ways, it did bring us back to our roots. What was happening in the Jones’ home was no longer interesting. Every home throughout the world was living through a similar nightmare. There were no secrets to be revealed, but gossip found it’s way by shifting to who wasn’t wearing a mask or allowed visitors into their home.
While the reality of my life was once jaw dropping to many, including me, I assure you the whispers pitying me when I entered a room were not easy to endure. You do you and I’ll do me. If you are curious about someone's kid's detention, the reason why they moved , or why they didn’t attend a party, simply ask. Rather than perpetuate the fiction and game of telephone, perhaps we can not participate or ask for the truth if it’s important that you know the details of someone's private life. Personally, I believe we are here for self discovery. We are here in this short life to find out who we are and what makes us tick. We are each on a journey to find out what activities and relationships fulfill us, not to eavesdrop about our neighbors woes. I’m following my journey which is changing as I grow. I want to be the best mother I can be, an impactful writer, and above all happy and content with who I am. I hope my fellow neighbors are too, regardless of their ups and downs in life, which should happen in privacy without the whispering behind closed doors.