Twenty-Seven Years
Over the years time has become a precious commodity. The spontaneity of my youth was replaced with a strict scheduling of naps and feedings for my babies. Soccer games,tennis matches, dance competitions and equestrian events filled my weekends and long standing friendships transformed into a series of monthly phone calls recapping our lives and quarterly dinners to keep the friendship alive. Throughout the years I spent raising my girls from babies to young adults, proximity dictated new relationships. As I enter a new stage of parenting young adults, I’ve had more free time to return to established friendships that distance and responsibilities have put on hold.
The plan to reunite with my college roommates for a few days was made no less than three months in advance. That’s what it takes to orchestrate schedules consisting of five careers, fifteen children, and three states among us. My college roommates have been steadfast in my life over the past twenty-seven years. Sometimes quietly, and sometimes front and center, but always present. Always. Life has been full of the expected, with numerous ups and downs for all of us and somehow we seem to keep a deep connection.
Gathering at the beach for a few days seemed like a distant dream that could never be arranged, but somehow, this year it did. It amazes me how the comfort and familiarity reappears with ease. I don’t choose my words carefully, or worry I’ll offend or censor the honest truths about my life, I don’t think about my hair or that I’m shoving another cookie into my mouth. I can just be in my truest state. We all recognized that we shared this feeling, and I wondered how some relationships stand the test of time? How was I able to choose quality friends at such a young age? I didn’t even know myself, but somehow I found my tribe. Somehow, some way we have grown together over the years despite the distance and responsibilities in life. Somehow the honesty, trust and vulnerability has matured and become richer over the years.
Over dinner one evening, my friend shared a quote with us. “The key to any good relationship is being interested, and interesting.” We all agreed that our friendships had succeeded due to our genuine and faithful interest in each other's lives as a whole. It’s hard to imagine where your life will take you when you're a kid in college, and over the past twenty-seven years we have each formed new friendships and encountered thousands of people throughout our daily lives. Why were these friendships able to remain? How did they endure the challenges? I’ve had many friends come and go over those years, for various reasons, but somehow, these bonds formed almost three decades ago have endured. When we met so many years ago, our focus was on cute boys, cute outfits, fraternity parties, and pulling all-nighters before an exam. Life will meander in many directions but I know for certain these friendships will follow me through the ups and downs, consistently present to be by my side whatever life may bring.
I watch as my daughters embark on their adult life, attending college, choosing friends as I once did, not even considering the future. I look in my heart and send a wish into the universe that they too will find their special forever friends as I did so many years ago.