The Emotional Blogger
Blogging struggles are real when it’s not just words on a page for the writer.
Writing a weekly blog has its ups and downs. The pressure of stringing words together to create a witty, insightful or thought-provoking piece can be daunting. Some weeks the topic comes easily, words flow and I'm on my way. Other weeks, like this one, I sit at my desk fiddling with paperclips between my fingers, bending and twisting hoping an idea will trigger some emotional pang. See, I can’t, or maybe I just don’t want to write about topics that I can't feel in my bones. A friend once said he thought my nerve endings must be exposed because I feel so deeply and writing is no different for me.
Feelings connect me to my writing and emotions guide me through what I’m really trying to say. If I don’t feel it, how will my readers relate to what I’m sharing? I write with the hopes that there's some small glimmer of relatability and connection readers may have through their own interpretation. For me it’s the difference between reading something and moving on, versus reading something and thinking about it throughout the day or retelling it to a friend because something about it resonated with you. That’s why I write.
Admittedly, feelings may guide me too much. Many successful leaders agree that unless you can manage your emotions you cannot be successful. Perhaps, Warren Buffet's quote is most notable.
“You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with magic. True power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.”Says Buffet.
This is certainly something I have struggled with over the years, but it has also been the thing that has helped me make deep, connective relationships in my life. I’m not a surface kind of girl. I can’t talk about the weather or news and feel a deep relationship with someone. I hold my readers to the same criteria, viewing them as intimate relationships where I can be honest and sometimes uncomfortably raw. It’s hard to be vulnerable week after week and share something that's not just meaningful to me but to others as well. Sharing what’s swirling inside my busy brain takes time and intention because the thoughts must be sifted. There are some topics that would impact my children, and some that would just come off like a rant of negativity and that is not my intention nor is it productive. I save those words for my journal.
I witness others with less need for their gut feelings to be involved in their everyday life. While these people have shallower emotional needs, I must admit, I sometimes wish I could be more like them. I think my life could be a little simpler, and less complicated. In fact, maybe you would be reading a far more interesting blog if I could just push through a semi-interesting topic and ignore the need to “feel it.”. I’ve improved over the years and have healthier boundaries for my feelings, enabling me to rein them in when needed, but I know myself well enough to understand I’m incapable of pushing my emotional voice to the side. While my emotional pulls may stunt my writing and make it difficult for me to find a romantic partner, the complications of feeling deeply are worth every hurdle.
Maybe I should be thankful that this week there's really nothing burning in my head. Could it be an indication that my life is finally simple and peaceful? I could write about our covid puppy, and how everyone seems to have covid puppy or I could write about the challenges of dating and living the real-life version of the bachelor, navigating casual dating as someone who seeks deeper connections. I could write about being a single parent to three teenage girls all living at home full time, but my heart won’t allow it. Many believe it’s how you write and the way you tell a story that makes it compelling, but this week, those topics didn’t move my soul or fingers to get it on the page. I try to recognize that living in a pandemic severely limits my exposure to new and stimulating people and experiences which is where many of my ideas germinate from. So here I am writing about the emotions of writing because I won’t go a week without blogging, even if it is utter and complete shit, That’s just me.
Please leave a comment below about a topic you’d like to hear more about!