In Real Life
Working on a perfected version of public speaking
My daughter called me today petrified. Petrified she would botch her oral presentation in her class. Her nerves were in full force, and I empathized with the pressures of public speaking. I had my own struggles with public speaking when I recorded some work-related videos over the past week. I stammered, and umm-ed too many times as I struggled thinking of the important talking points.
As my daughter fought off her nerves, I remembered the hundreds of Tik-Tok videos she had filmed and posted over the years. She danced with conviction, looked directly into the camera lens and lip synched to perfection. She smiled, and swayed, appearing even more relaxed in front of the camera than she does in her daily life. It would seem this little oral presentation would be an easy A given her Tik-Tok experience. After all, social media reaches, hundreds, thousands, maybe more. Viral as they say. And viral is the goal. I recall one of her Tik-Tok videos had thousands of views, I can’t recall the exact count, but she was hyper aware of the number as it grew without warning. “Who are these people?” I asked. She obviously didn’t know most of the viewers, which was an irrelevant point in her mind.
As I thought about this disconnect, I struggled reconciling the video for the masses versus an intimate oral presentation amongst her college peers. But then I realized I too suffer from this phenomenon. I couldn’t speak at my own birthday party, yet I performed in front of the videographer without a bead of sweat. Isn’t it strange that those who are in our corner, we are most nervous in front of? Perhaps my daughter and I don’t worry about the anonymous viewers, the nameless and faceless. Maybe we care more about the opinions of those we know. I know I want to perform at my best for meaningful people in my life.
I sweat and shake when speaking in public. My mind goes blank, I lose train of my thoughts, and feel utterly depleted when the mere minutes end. A pre-recoded presentation is not like that at all for me, and here is where I began understanding my daughter’s generation. A generation of editing, experimenting with several takes, and videoing overload. I notice them studying other video posts as our office social media director does the same. Observing what gains attention and implementing those techniques. In real life public speaking is a one and done phenomenon.
It gives me pause and makes me a bit sad, wondering if a perfected video will supersede the importance of a real connection, including real life flaws and not the perfectly edited faces, bodies, and speeches. I’m glad my daughter felt her nerves. Feeling something in real life, even if it’s fear, is far better than the emptiness of skyrocketing numbers generated by anonymous viewers of a well curated video. Just sayin’.