Crunchy Shoulders
A photo taken in the absence of life’s stresses.
Lately I’ve been feeling more stress than usual. My back is in knots, and my neck struggles to look left and right at stop signs. Does anyone have advice on shielding my body from inordinate amounts of stress? Perhaps I feel too much. I feel my children’s pain and happiness, but the pain seems to gnaw at me more than it should. How do I compartmentalize the emotions as they engulf me? I exercise, I get out into nature, I meditate, I put nutritious food in my body, yet sometimes I am gripped by stress creating crunchy shoulders.
Life presents challenges and stress inducing situations often appear unexpectedly. Recently, I was having a wonderful evening in Philadelphia with friends and thought to myself, “Take this moment and enjoy the happiness. Life is good right now. Enjoy the moment before the other shoe drops.” Well, I awoke the next morning to a torrential downpour of shoes. A screen full of stress appeared as my eyes fluttered open for the day.
The knots were back. I’m thankful I can stop and appreciate the peaceful times, when life is simpler and I can breathe, but when the stressful situation return I’m not great at keeping a healthy distance. I wish I had the magic recipe leading to a healthier, stress- free lifestyle, but stress-free seems to be a vivid dream rather than a reality. I know less stress would lead to more happiness, and better health but, let’s be honest, easier said than done.
A friend sent me an article claiming married couples live healthier lives. Hmmm. If I run off and get hitched will my stress miraculously disappear? Will a second marriage convert me to the most relaxed version of myself? My first marriage certainly was not a healthier, and certainly not a happier life. The article claims married couples sleep better, which I find perplexing because my real-life research is contradictory. At a recent girls’ night out, several women complained about their husbands incessant snoring, and it seems to be a common marital issue from my conversations. That sounds like more stress and less sleep compared to my king size bed for one. Call me crazy but I think singletons do just fine in the sleep department.
I admit I can create my own stress as in any given day I worry about my daughters more than I probably should. Theirhappiness, health, grades, future, the list is endless. I recall thefirst college meeting for my oldest daughter at her tiny private school with a kumbaya philosophy. Raised by two Type A parents, understanding the extremely liberal, Woodstock-like head mistress’ approach was challenging. When she asked if anyone had questions, I immediately raised my hand as any good Type A would. “I understand, but isn’t striving for a highly competitive college imperative, because college is where they make their lifelong friends, which will lead to their future networking, and their career choice, and …” I spoke so quickly it’s surprising anyone could understand my sentences as they ran into one another.
The headmistress looked at me with pity as my words rambled. This is how I work myself into a neck that creeks like an old unoiled door.
I haven’t let go of my worrying, my overthinking, my over- feeling, and needless to say, my cement shoulders remain. I’ll continue to roll on the lacrosse ball, make my acupuncture appointments and find anyone who will dig their fingers into my back full of knots, until I can find an opening in over-carersanonymous.