Swapping Stilettos For Slippers
The forty minute time limit begins to countdown as the faces pop up onto a brady bunch-like grid on the screen. Replacing the mood lighting, curated playlist, and raucous laughter from the group at the other end of the bar are backgrounds of well stocked bookcases, fluffy stuffed animals, and dog’s milling about. Some choose to dab on lipstick and blush before they login while others embrace their baseball cap or messy bun, but surely everyone is in fuzzy socks or slippers beneath the angle of the camera. The definition of socializing has adapted to the times of quarantine. As we enter the eighth week of social distancing, friends and families have acclimated to the new rules and embraced using technology to connect and sometimes reconnect. While for me, the word Zoom elicits thoughts of yellow and red striped shirts, today, it evokes thoughts chatting and laughing.
Socializing is a huge part of being human. We actually need it to remain healthy. In fact it’s scientific. In Julianne Holt-Lunstad’s, 2018 study, she finds,“There is now substantial evidence documenting that being socially connected significantly reduces risk for premature mortality, and lacking social connection significantly increases risk, even more than the risks associated with many factors that currently receive substantial public health attention and resources (e.g., obesity, physical inactivity, air pollution).” This study finds that the most influential factor in longevity is social integration, which is defined as the amount of people you have a social interaction with each day ranging from a simple exchange with your local barista as you grab your coffee, or an intimate lunch with your mother. She reveals that eye to eye contact releases oxytocin, sometimes called the “love hormone.” Similarly, developmental psychologist Susan Pinker states “face to face contact has stunning benefits.” It’s no wonder we’ve been pursuing safe face to face contact during the corona pandemic.
With restaurants and bars closed a new happy hour has emerged through websites and apps such as Zoom, Skype or RingCentral. Meeting friends at a bar was a way to catch up , yet there was always the element of, you never know who you will meet. It could be a business contact or referral, a potential date, or just a new acquaintance with whom you may have a lot in common. The element of surprise and putting your best foot forward so to speak, have been eliminated. And so we sit safely behind our screens knowing who will have the password to enter our private meet-up, with no incentive to get dressed up for the occasion. I mean, after all, we are just sitting on our sofas.
While this phenomenon may have started out of necessity, it seems many are embracing the benefits of a social life from home. In speaking (yes, audio only) to a friend, he cited the financial benefits. “It’s easy to drop a hundred bucks on just a regular night out for some beers and bar food.” With professional sports at a standstill, he is just as happy having a few beers on a friend's porch for a fraction of the cost. With the unemployment rate skyrocketing and the financial markets down thirty percent, socializing with friends free of charge is a welcome change. Women who would “pop into” a store to pick up a cute shirt for a night out, are also saving by slipping into mushy sweats for their virtual get togethers. Gone are the days of planning a day’s outfit around your post work plans, or running home to freshen up before heading to a restaurant or bar. Weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, birthday’s, Passover and Easter have all shifted to a 7” X 11” laptop screen. And with the absence of an in real life hang out, the rigamarole of getting ready for these events are absent as well. In addition to the change of wardrobe necessities, the primping for such events is now unnecessary. Women confess they have some relief from the new normal. While going out and attending events is fun, there is a certain degree of pressure to be social despite being exhausted from a long day at work, or chasing after toddlers. The freedom to connect with friends and family from the comfort of your home, combined with the financial savings and the freedom to be as casual as you choose, at least from the waist up, seems to be appealing to many. While we wait and see the next stages of social distancing, you can recreate your preferred bar vibes with your own ambient playlist, and mood lighting for your virtual happy hour later tonight.