Quarantined Reconnection
Would you begin a text exchange with someone you were romantically interested in if you knew there was no possibility of having an in-person rendezvous for many weeks? Let me rewind. I’ve been separated since December 2017. Dating is and has been at the very bottom of my to-do list given my three teenage daughters, two large dogs and one massive contentious divorce. Occasionally, I push myself to “get out there” as friends and family like to say loudly in the middle of large social gatherings. As infrequent as it is, I’ve met some wonderful men. None have made it past the third date, in fact the majority have been one and done, but all have been genuinely good humans. I can’t identify why I chose not to continue with these perfectly acceptable men, but suffice to say, something was missing. I respect honesty and so I provided the same, gingerly explaining, while I enjoyed myself, it just wasn’t a match. I’ve remained friendly with a couple of them, randomly texting to say hello, but nothing more.
Each day during the first week of the corona isolation,I would receive one or two texts from men I had “dated.” I’m using the term “dated” in the loosest way possible, after all one or two dates does not constitute “dating.”
“Hey Leslie. You just popped up on my Facebook. Wanted to check in and say hi. Hope you and the girls are doing well.” Noah texted.
That was sweet, I thought, albeit Random. I too see friend suggestions pop up on Facebook, but if I’m being honest, it never occurs to me to reach out if it was only one date. Nevertheless, It was a nice text from a really nice guy
Soon after, James texted, “And as a compliment to you- the date we had always stood out to me- so if you ever want to grab coffee, I’m interested and if not it was nice to say hi and hear you’re doing well.”
Tears welled in my eyes and I choked from the idea that someone could have held onto the memory of one date with me for so many months. Oddly, I was touched. Was it the Corona isolation that made me feel vulnerable? I appreciated the text for what it was and moved along with my quarantined daily life. The next text from Stephen, buzzed in less than twenty-four hours later. I squinted my eyes and crinkled my nose . Hmmm. This is an odd coincidence.
“Are you following the rules? Hope you and the girls are OK.”
I hadn’t heard from Stephen since our third date when I suggested we part ways. I had no ill will, and texted back in an effort to understand why he chose to make contact. Texter number one, Noah, had given his reason, which now seemed suspect. After an exchange of pleasantries and brief updating, number three, Stephen, asked, “When this is all over,if you have some free time,let me know and we can meet for (insert red wine glass emoji here.) No expectations.I just always enjoyed your company.( insert angel emoji smiling face here.”)
To be fair, I get emotional from a Hallmark card, my heart feels it all, but I felt surprisingly vulnerable from his words. How could a simple text from a man I barely knew could stir my emotions? Perhaps being cooped up had left me unguarded, ripe for a rekindling. A couple of days passed and another man resurfaced.
“Hey LA, just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing in all this. CRAZY!” Brett wrote.
Brett would raise the count to four. A fun loving, always can make you laugh kind of guy, came at me with the serious stuff early into our text exchange.
“LA, on my deathbed,I don’t think I’m gonna wish I spent less weekends with you.”
A few more emerged throughout the weeks of the Corona ordeal with similar sentiments. My brain swirled . Why now? With the shelter in place in effect, grabbing coffee or ( insert red wine emoji here) would be impossible. The question gnawed at me. In the face of a pandemic, were these men reaching out for comfort? Were they looking for one last try with viable women they dated? If this was the beginning of the end of the world did they want to know we could give it one more shot? Was I special in their mind or was I another woman on an imaginary list they had in their head? Was it for companionship or desire? I had no answers.
As my neighbor and I walked our dogs safely at six feet apart, I told her about the mysterious texts and asked her if she had any thoughts. She shrugged her shoulders
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe people are just lonely and feel vulnerable with the state of the world.”
But later that day she texted me. “You’re not going to believe this. Guess who just DM’d me?” Sure enough, it was a man from her past “checking in.”
“I'm not crazy!”, I said out loud. Now, I had two confirmed cases of Corona reconnections.
As the weeks progressed, she too was contacted by several men whose dates never materialized into relationships.
These reconnections fascinated me. Even my male friends were experiencing the same Covid-19 induced attention. Was Corona an opportunity to reach out? Did it provide a viable storyline to revive a lifeless bumble match? Perhaps given the new parameters of social distancing, meeting someone new was impossible, so revisiting someone you’ve already met was a more realistic option. For the sake of this article I was hoping, as the days passed, I would find the answer to this phenomenon, but it seems there’s not one compelling explanation. The texts trickle in, and for now I’m enjoying the flattery and respectfully declining all offers for a “walk date,” at six feet apart, in an effort to avoid being six feet under.